{"id":501,"date":"2013-05-13T16:51:51","date_gmt":"2013-05-13T23:51:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/?p=501"},"modified":"2013-05-13T16:51:51","modified_gmt":"2013-05-13T23:51:51","slug":"advanced-communications-tactics-coyote-wisdom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/2013\/05\/13\/advanced-communications-tactics-coyote-wisdom\/","title":{"rendered":"Advanced Communications Tactics: Coyote Wisdom"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been thinking about coyote wisdom. Coyote is a main character in the stories of many North American aboriginal cultures; he is a trickster, a wise fool who shows up when everyone\u2019s taking themselves a bit too seriously. He transforms through disruption and often humor and playfulness, pointing out absurdities and hypocrisies. The trickster archetype pops up in\u00a0many different cultures in different guises<\/a>, but I like to call him Coyote.<\/p>\n

Communicating like a coyote is a powerful tactic, but not one that\u2019s typically taught in schools and universities. Unlike writing a cover letter or a recommendation report, there is no set protocol. Indeed, coyote communications operate entirely outside protocol.<\/p>\n

First, let me give you some examples.<\/p>\n

The Oatmeal vs. Funny Junk\u2019s lawyer<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s no surprise that Matt Inman is a master of coyote communications, since he writes the popular comic The Oatmeal<\/a>. Matt had contacted the folks who operate the website Funny Junk after discovering his comics had been repeatedly posted there<\/a> without credit. He asked them to remove his comics from from their site, and when that proved ineffective<\/a>, he blogged and cartooned about the dispute. Funny Junk\u2019s lawyer responded with a letter claiming defamation and demanding money.<\/p>\n

This is where the story gets awesome. Undeterred, Matt drew a comic of the lawyer\u2019s mom seducing a bear, and suggested that, rather than spend money making lawyers rich, it would be better to call the whole thing off and donate the money to charity. He began a crowdfunding campaign called \u201cOperation BearLove Good, Cancer Bad\u201d to benefit the American Cancer Society and the National Wildlife Federation. He set the initial goal at $20,000, which had been the lawyer\u2019s demand, but raised over 10 times<\/a> that for the two charities.<\/p>\n

After some additional comical and sometimes bizarre back and forth, Funny Junk\u2019s lawyer dropped the complaint<\/a>. He still claimed victory, but it was quite clear to everyone else who really won: Matt Inman, bears, the American Cancer Society, and The Oatmeal community.<\/p>\n

Deescalating a domestic dispute<\/h3>\n

The first chapter of Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion<\/em><\/a>, begins with a coyote story.<\/p>\n

It was the most outrageous way to bust up a fight I had ever seen. I\u2019d been a rookie cop ten days when my partner got the call. At two a.m. we were dispatched to break up a nasty domestic dispute in a tenement on the east side of Emporia, Kansas, notorious for drug dealing and random violence.<\/p>\n

We could hear the couple\u2019s vicious, mouth-to-mouth combat from the street. My training sergeant and partner, Bruce Fair, and I approached and peeked through the half-open door. Then Bruce just walked in without bothering to knock. I watched as he strode right past the warring couple, took off his uniform cap, sighed, and planted himself on the couch. Ignoring the argument, he picked up a newspaper and thumbed through the classifieds!<\/p>\n

. . . Bruce kept reading, and the couple kept arguing, occasionally glancing at the cop on their couch. They had yet to notice me. As the man cursed his wife, Bruce rattled the newspaper. \u201cFolks. Folks! Excuse me! Over here!\u201d<\/p>\n

The stunned husband flashed a doubletake. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bruce said, \u201cYou got a phone? Look here. A 1950 Dodge! Cherry condition! Can I borrow your phone? I know it\u2019s late, but I don\u2019t want to miss out on this. Where\u2019s your phone? I need to call right now!\u201d<\/p>\n

The husband pointed to the phone, incredulous. Bruce rose and dialed, then mumbled into the phone. He slammed it down. \u201cCan you believe they wouldn\u2019t talk to me just because it\u2019s two in the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n

By now, the fight had evaporated, the couple standing there as\u00a0dumbfounded\u00a0as I was. \u201cBy the way,\u201d Bruce said pleasantly, as if just becoming aware, \u201cis anything the matter here? Anything my partner and I can do for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The husband and wife looked at the floor and shook their heads. \u201cNot really, no.\u201d We chatted with them a bit, reminding them that it was late and that everyone around would appreciate a little peace and quiet. Soon we were on our way.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dealing with Internet Trolls<\/h3>\n

A few weeks ago I came across an IRC (Internet Relay Chat) transcript [warning: language]<\/a>\u00a0 on the channel for the programming language Haskell. The person who tweeted the link to the transcript commented, \u201cIt’s hard to troll the haskell community.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here’s how it goes down.<\/p>\n

A young man (presumably) who calls himself xQuasar shows up and begins slinging homophobic insults at the chatters and touting the superiority of Javascript.<\/p>\n

They respond in unexpected ways:<\/p>\n

\u201cWow…I suddenly see the error of my ways and feel compelled to write Node.js!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cyou might be pleased to learn that you can compile haskell to javascript now\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cI don’t blame him, I’d be this angry to [sic] if I had to write javascript all day too\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

xQuasar changes tactics, but no one takes the new bait. \u201cThis is sort of like a puppy trying to be angry with you…it’s just kinda adorable to see him think he has any effect :)\u201d<\/p>\n

Finally, xQuasar admits his true purpose. \u201ci just want to get kicked out of a bunch of channels for fun. . . why is no one cooperating with me\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are cooperating with you,\u201d someone responds, \u201cyou’re just not aware that your goal is learning Haskell.\u201d<\/p>\n

In no time, xQuasar admits defeat — \u201calright i’ll admit i lose\u201d — and actually begins asking intelligent questions about the language.<\/p>\n

How?<\/h3>\n

First, you have to recognize that societal (and personal) prescriptions and habits have got you in a stagnant, stuck situation. There\u2019s no rational way out, because all parties involved have taken a fixed position and no one is budging. Or the rational way isn\u2019t feasible. Of course Matt Inman had every right to pursue legal means against Funny Junk, but resolving the situation in that societally prescribed manner would have come at too high a cost.<\/p>\n

Second, you have to be able to envision the creative possibilities that exist outside these prescriptions, habits, and rules. A less experienced cop in our domestic dispute story would have followed procedure, separating the warring couple and calming them down. Indeed, Bruce and the rookie had done just that earlier in the evening with a different couple under different circumstances. But Bruce was able to see outside procedure to the opportunity that the newspaper on the couch presented him.<\/p>\n

Third, you must be willing and able to set personal importance aside. If the person you\u2019re dealing with is still pushing your buttons, you\u2019d be better off writing that angry message and never sending it, or taking a walk around the block and then writing a nicely worded, professional response. But if you want to communicate like a coyote, you must be willing to give that all up and risk appearing crazy, foolish, even clueless. You have to let insults slide, as the Haskell chatters did. And you have to be willing to see conflict as not just a zero-sum contest of winners and losers, but as an opportunity for transformation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been thinking about coyote wisdom. Coyote is a main character in the stories of many North American aboriginal cultures; he is a trickster, a wise fool who shows up when everyone\u2019s taking themselves a bit too seriously. He transforms … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[24,69,77],"class_list":["post-501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tierneys-posts","tag-conflict","tag-nonviolent-comms","tag-playfulness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=501"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nocontest.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}